When you close your eyes at night who lies beneath your skin, who swims into the depths of your soul?
Are you an adulterer? A liar or a cheat? Are you a racists? A good husband baby daddy mommy? Are you a lazy overachiever? Do you sit in front of the pulpit at church yet still remain a non believer?
Who are you? When you open your eyes and rise… Do wish to lay back down and press the reset button? Only to do it all again in the morning…
When does living begin? When does life welcome the sun set or are you working too hard, and you forget that there are more than flowers to smell, how about granny’s peach cobbler baking on a Sunday afternoon with cinnamon and spices. Or the smell or the crisp winter air when you first step outside.
Who are you and who are you living your life for or through?
One of my favorite aspirations has always been “my word is bond” and for a long time this held true to me and in my life. I would never say or make a promise to myself or anyone and then fail at going through with it. However, over the years this small aspiration of mines fell to the waist side, after coming across and dealing with folk who could care less as to whether their words held power once spoken or not. I found myself agreeing to and promising things I knew that I would not be able to see through until the end, or maybe I just didn’t try hard enough. Whatever the case may be my word was no longer a bond; thereby, I was no longer a person of my word. Sure I was and still am trust worthy, but do I hold up my end of the bargain.
So one of my main focuses for the month of April will be to reaffirm this aspiration to myself before anyone else; after all, if I can’t be a person of my word to myself who then can my words hold true to?
I’m claiming the next 6-8 weeks Wig Season!!! Why? Because it’s cold outside, and I don’t have time to do as much as I normally would do to my hair. As many of you know I have natural hair. Before I go on I feel that it’s important to define what natural hair is…
What it means to be natural: Natural means, when your hair has not been altered in any way by any chemical… i.e. when you color your hair, or use a texturizer or a hair softener. This is altering the natural state of your hair thereby meaning it’s not natural. So wearing a wig is okay and it doesn’t take away from the natural state of your hair. With that out of the way let’s get down to business…
The wearing of wigs has been a longtime accessory for women and even men… It’s important not to think of wearing a wig as being phony or fake, you don’t love yourself any less because you’ve chosen to wear a wig. Think of wearing a wig as you would wear a piece of jewelry. You’re simply accessorizing your look.
How To Go Wig Shopping & What To Look For: Everyone’s head size, face and shape is different, so you have to look for what best suits and compliments your features. This includes choosing the best color to compliment your skin tone and complexion. Be prepared to try on multiple wigs until you find the one or two that are right for you.
What to look for when shopping & things to take into Consideration:
Is my forehead too big for this particular style? It’s important to try and disguise any flaws. Look for a wig that has hair covering the forehead, this will help in minimizing it.
Is this way too much hair on my head? Sure, wigs come in all lengths and textures, but having too much hair maybe more of a hassle when doing regular things like working or shopping. Additionally, wigs with more hair are hot and may cause you to sweat more than normal. Therefore, if you’re not used to having a lot of hair you’ll constantly be pulling the hair to the back and or side; otherwise, “work it girl”.
Is this color for me? Okay, I did mention that we can choose all kinds of colors, but lets be sensible. Are you getting this wig for work and or everyday or is it for a costume party?
How To Prepare & Protect Your Hair from wearing the Wig:
If you have a lot of hair you need to gently cornrow or twist it towards the back of your head.
Wear a wig cap over your own hair; this will protect it.
Keep your hair and scalp hydrated and moisturized as needed, and gently massage the scalp.
Only wear the wig when necessary, give your head and hair a break/breather.
If the wig has adjustable straps, keep them adjusted comfortably to your head so it’s not too tight or hurting your edges and or temples.
DON’T USE GLUE with Lace front wigs… If you have edges or a nice hairline, it’s best to put as little stress on them as possible. There is nothing, I repeat Nothing healthy or safe about putting glue anywhere on your body let alone on your head, or in your hair or skin. It’s simply not worth the risk… The following picture is my hair prior to putting on a wig with braids.
My Mane...
Benefits in Wearing A Wig:
It’s Quick!
You can choose any color you like without actually dying your own hair.
You can choose any Length without having to cut your hair or having to wait for it to grow.
You’ll have a brand new look within minutes.
Gives your hair a break.
Saves you money from having to visit the salon.
Now that you know what to look for, here is what I chose… As Always Remember to Share, Comment and give Feedback…
“NOT A GOOD LOOK…” He said.
“I Like this one…” He smiled.
This is the One I Chose... I Spruced it up a bit with some jewelry…
It’s an Early Friday afternoon and I’m at one my favorite places, the Natural Hair Spa & Boutique and I’m getting my mane tamed. I can remember that it was only 2-3 years ago when I literally chopped it all off. I saved some of the long, dark brown strands of my permed hair as though it were the end of my life, or as if my hair would never grow back.
As I chopped it off myself with no kind of precision, I looked in the mirror. I stared at myself and I stared at my hair. My hair was thick and tired of me messing around. For years I joked that my hair was upset with me for not taking proper care of it. After cutting my hair, I had to go to a barber for them to shape up and even out my hair. I didn’t know of any male barbers and my husband’s barber was Hispanic with no Experience cutting women’s hair, let alone cutting a Black women’s hair. So I called my granny’s barber who was an hour away from me.
I was frightened, insecure, unsure of myself and even a little ashamed of cutting off my unhealthy over processed hair. I sat outside of the barbershop looking at my husband, I told him that I was afraid. He assured me the hard part was over and to go in.
Inside of the shop I felt as though I stepped back into history. Everything was old, from the torn faded posters of possible fades and styles. The other wall was held up by old boxing legends like Sugar Ray Robinson, Joe Frazier and Muhhamad Ali. The brown unpolished squeaky wooden floors played a small melody with every footstep. The door had one of those old bells hanging from it, and every time someone came in or left out, the big old bell would jingle as it slammed itself back and forth against the door. The barber’s chairs were old even the barbers were old. I guessed that symbolized experience or at least a step back in time if only for a moment.
In the barber’s chair I sat nervous like a young boy does when it’s time for his first haircut. I was afraid of the clippers, and the sound they made. As I looked around I wondered what the men in the shop thought of a female chopping all of her hair off. Did they think I was being radical, did they think I was gay or just going through some female life crisis.
The barber asked what I wanted, I told him to simply shape me up and he did. He was so gentle with my virgin hair that it tickled a bit. He cut my hair low, and I told him lower, after telling him to cut it lower 2 more times, then he asked, “well how much lower do you want it?” I didn’t want to look in the mirror. Then he gave me the small handheld mirror to see if the back was ok. I pretended to look at the back and the truth was that I didn’t care what it looked like. Then he turned my chair around and I was facing the mirror. I apprehensively looked up to my reflection. My eyes began to swell with tears. I thanked him, paid him and tipped him, I tossed on my baseball cap, put on my earrings to try and salvage what femininity I had left. I got in the car and cried…
Big Chop
“I look like a boy! People will think I’m gay!”
My husband replied, “With a face like that, no one will ever think you’re a boy… And, so what if someone thinks you’re gay… Are you?”
“No…” I sobbed…
“Ok, then let’s go home…” We drove back home and for an entire week I wore a baseball cap or a wig whenever I left the house. And then one day, I went out without my cap or wig on, it was the middle of August and I was hot… All day people complimented me, men and women of every race and age. The next day I went to work with no cap or wig, at the time I was a retail manager, men of every race complimented me and even hit on me. I was so shocked because I felt so ugly and insecure.
It’s been nearly 4 years since my Big Chop and I don’t have many pictures of my hair from then, but I’ve included a few pictures from then up until now and a Video Below. Be on the look-out for more posts, videos and more.
Same style, but I pulled it into a ponytail & added a piece…
No, I’m not a doctor I’m just your average female who wants to be beautiful. I don’t even want to be skinny. I’m not even sure if it’s genetically possible to be skinny or slim. All or at least most of the women in my family are thick, not fat, but we have meat on our bones. And I’m lovin every curve on my body.
But is it beautiful? What is beautiful and how do we acquire beauty, true beauty? Is it internal? Is it in the clothes we wear or our hair? How about our eye color? All of these factors can play a role in what we define as beauty.
When I look in the mirror I can see age spots. My husband calls them freckles; they lay a little beneath my eyes and sit at the top of my cheekbones. I don’t remember having them, which is why I call them age spots. I guess I’m going to search and find this beauty.
Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow morning, and see it in the mirror, only to lose it the moment I walk out of my front door… I guess that is just the insecurities of life.
Beautiful Joi 